I’m looking for a place to live in Colorado, pretty much anywhere south and west of Denver. It’s clear I’m never going to book another show from the van, and while it’s been nice to take away the pressure of waiting under the trees for 3 months for the one-off show, it has been no great revelation to realize the real pressure comes from the trees, and not the show. Frank Zappa once said the outdoors was something he had to pass through to get from the car to the front door of the airport. I’m not that much of an indoor person, but I’m closer to that than to the people who go walking around in the woods for fun. Maybe because I’ve spent so much time writing in the woods, waiting for the show.
I’ve done some walking around on mountains for fun, I suppose. You’ve got your water bottle, your brown, breathing shoes, an excess of giant pockets. It helps when it’s a novelty.
Whatever the case, I’m writing to ask for leads or connections to anyone who might have a place to rent. I’m looking around, obviously, scouring every resource, but if you have a weird sister who has a treehouse in the kitchen, who doesn’t mind getting paid in song (hey, I got it for a song, for some reason the LOWEST-VALUE COMPENSATION IN THE WORLD, lol) that wouldn’t suck. A mobile home, a backhouse, a shack of any kind, a weird converted garage, the weirder the better, just no roommates. I’m too old for roommates. It doesn’t have to be amazing. It doesn’t really have to be any good at all. It can even kind of suck. My standards are ridiculously low.
It’s all about playing again. After 6 months off I’m not burned out on playing anymore. But I’m not booking any more shows or tours from the Jerome library, or Fort Collins, or Alamosa, or even Taylor, TX for that matter. Which is a pretty nice liberry, actually. Nothing like the main liberry in Fort Collins, which is a fortress of learning and toilets. Alamosa’s even better, since Ft. Collins is your typical homeless shelter type liberry. Though in fact I have been verbally accosted at both. Magdalena, NM is nice, but you don’t want to hang out in it, in spite of the super-cute bartender. I meant to say librarian. I don’t remember Leadville, or maybe I don’t want to. I remember it clearly, but also not at all. Goldfield, NV is always closed. There are no liberries in Nevada. That’s not true there is Tonopah. And Ely, probably, but who is looking for a liberry in Ely damn Nevada? East Texas, a tiny town, Centerville? With an operating system from the 90’s, and a sky like greasy barbeque. Weatherford, Oklahoma is highly recommended. Bullhead City, AZ is a gutted office space full of card tables. It was nice somehow anyway and I said so; the librarian was pleased. Santa Rosa, NM, the only building in town aside from motels and auto repair joints. And truckstops, but that goes without saying. Golden Valley, AZ is exceedingly unfriendly. Seligman is nice. Bisbee, AZ is fun to use, Tombstone doesn’t really want you there, wants you to use the computer they want to give you, like it matters. There was no way I was going to sit right next to that guy when there were other computers over there. Flagstaff is like Sedona, and somehow doesn’t count. Camp Verde is far from terrible, Grand Junction very normal. Victorville, California is a prison yard with books. Valentine, TX is one of those house-libraries, that look like a house, and have a screen door, a bath in the bathroom. Eastpoint, Florida is like that too. Was it Palestine, or Carthage, TX, a lot of non-obvious turns and weird directions, hard to find behind the sweat? The library in Little Rock was the highlight of my experience there. That’s another story. Demopolis, Alabama is weird and old. Good-weird though, and friendly. Like an old and ancient school. Farther down, in Thomasville? Jackson? Something bad, somewhere. She was happy not to help me. The New Orleans branch I favored was for children, unfortunately, and the chairs were small and colorful, uncomfortable in the extreme, and the headphones were from I-kid-you-not the 70’s, old and square and brown, with an off switch on the side, and a midrange response that can be best described as “grating,” or “impertinently nasal,” but it was the internet, and booking. In Portales, NM, you have to leave after one hour, even if the room is empty. In Basalt, CO you have to stand. At least at the express machines. Cottonwood is Cottonwood. I have liberry cards from all over the world.
I need a la-la-la-la-laptop.
Jerome is about as good as it gets for liberries. You can stay there ALL DAY (most places you have to sweet-talk the librarian for a 2nd hour), which means you can get a LOT DONE, and most of the librarians are really cool. I could park under the cloud of tourists in the parking lot of the Catholic church and shave in the fire station for 20 years if it hadn’t long ago reached the point of being completely unbearable.
Colorado is ideal because of the capacity to recreate the original, intended use of creational weed, in addition to the close proximity to N. Arizona, and I suppose Las Vegas. Arizona would be fine, and so would even Vegas be, but Colorado is more free. Insert the misanthropic statement of your choice.
Which reminds me of a humorous conversation I had at a show in Eugene, Oregon, with one of the other bands. It was quickly learned that I was from Arizona, and that I like Arizona. The girl in the band scrunched her face up in incredulous revulsion and said, in a tone that always makes me laugh when I remember it, so appalled she was, and in such utter disbelief at the warped and circus novelty before her, “you like that place?”
“That place,” hahahaha. That hot, brown, dry place full of retarded circus freaks. “You like that place?” She was really disgusted, in the friendliest, most humorous way. It’s like she had never actually seen one before, a desert person, and marveled at the oddity before her. “They’re actually real,” like the hicks in Easy Rider.
I have a tendency to ramble, but that’s all I wanted to say. To ask.
If you don’t know anybody in Colorado or N. Arizona, somewhere in Colorado, or even Colorado, and my messages and music amuse you, it’s always possible to make a donation, which is always appreciated. This message is much more about the amusement involved in writing it, than the solicitation. Regardless, the best way to donate is to buy an album for more than it’s worth, or buy several albums. In fact I think the whole discography is up for 40% off on Bandcamp. $79 or so. I don’t think that includes free or name-yr-price albums though. Which, take for free then, what.
The title of this message is meaningless, I was trying to mix the “extroverted indoor person” or “introverted outdoor person” notion into a glib 2-word phrase, because it just occurred to me, but I abandoned it for the amusing, if meaningless, wordplay in the subject line above.
In fact I abandoned the title completely and just changed it to Liberry Odyssey, which is a lot better. It used to be Intravenous Extroverts. Wow that’s really terrible.
No roommates, 420-friendly a huge plus.
Til next time,